Proper Gnomenclature

Recently I did some Gnome related research, you know, so when I do this blog thing I dont look like much of a fool . I'll know my stuff now, or most of it anyway, with regards to gnomes. To begin with, I'll just talk about what I thought I knew about gnomes (which wasnt much) and go from there.
Prior to delving into the vast libraries and collected knowledge of gnomes and other gnomelike things I knew basically two things about gnomes. the first: they look an awful lot like men from Pakistan who like to dye their white beards the color of tang.

The second thing I knew about gnomes is that they like to garden, alot. Almost as much as my grandmother. Thats why I always see them on lawns and in flower boxes.

Here are the Gnome Gnowledge Basics:

Gnome is derived from the latin word for knowledge, somehow. Gnosis in Greek means knowledge, and I guess since the Romans liked to steal everything from the Greeks and then put their own twist on it (religion, military formations, art, homosexuality, those helmets with the brushes on top, etc) they took Gnosis and turned it into Gnomus, and then someone in a basement somewhere took that and used Gnome for the name of a little bearded smart ass who hoards treasure, and then gave it damage five with trample. Just kidding.

Gnomes really are part of European folklore. Which, if you ever saw Disney movies as a kid, were mostly all written down by the Brothers Grimm and then promptly sold to Walt Disney. It is interesting to note that in every language in Europe (even the germanic and slavic ones) the word for gnome is basically the same. The places I read from (mostly the Monstropedia... Did you know there was an online encyclopedia for monsters?) describe gnomes as being short (three apples tall) with pointy red hats (like Santa) and can not be out in the sunshine or they turn to stone.

Which brings me to my next point... this blog is kind of silly.

Recently, I remembered this film I watched way back in the day (sometime in the '80s, so basically if you're around my age, that was 'back in the day'). Its called Wizards by Ralph Bakshi. This animated masterpiece was produced in 1977 as a homage to Tolkien's works. The theme and central plot revolves around end of the world holocaust situations and the epic battle by fairy folk led by two polar opposite wizard twins. One wizard is all about the hippie dippie ways of the past (groovy), and the other is all about conquering everything using technology and evil nazi propaganda (not so groovy). Bakshi's animation technique of animating over old stock footage can be kind of annoying (unless you, like Bakshi, are on mind altering chemicals), and confusing. Although, Bakshi did give the world the duality of the character Necron99/Peace (a brainwashed assasin). Now, I know this has nothing to do with Gnomes, specifically, but it is connected to Hippies.  Perhaps someone will go rent this movie and check it out. Did I mention naked fairies?

These are some things I learned from this movie:

1. Never interrupt an Elven funeral, especially when he's burying his horse-chicken-lizard thing
2. Someone is going to kill Fritz
3. Nazi's were ruled by an evil bearded wizard skeletor
4. 16 mm film can last thousands of years and a nuclear holocaust
5. Even fairies can be hookers
6. mutants and demons LOVE disco
7. religion = spanking and pop culture
8. elves love Bruce Lee and John Wayne