Movies Part One. Shakespeare?

I tried pretty hard to find who originally said "Shakespeare is eternal". This phrase seems to be quoted by everyone who has ever taught high school English.  I couldnt find it. What I did find, though, was a preface to The Norton Shakespeare, 1st edition, by Stephen Greenblatt. Greenblatt states, "the celebration of Shakespeare's genius has become, over the centuries, an institutionalized rite of civility [. . .] he has himself come to seem like a creating nature: the common bond of humankind, the principle of hope, the symbol of the imagination's power to transcend time-bound beliefs and assumptions, peculiar historical circumstances, and specific artistic conventions".

Greenblatt basically says "Shakespeare is eternal" due to the insights into the human condition through his art. This is why Shakespeare is just as relevant in 1600 as he is in 2010. The human condition doesnt really change much. You may ask why this is important on a blog about Gnomes... normally nothing, unless you realize that Disney and Miramax made an animated film adaptation of Romeo and Juliet starring GNOMES!

I was a little skeptical about an animated feature clearly aimed at children which is supposed to end in tragedy.

 
Everyone knows the story: "two households, both alike in dignity" hate each other. But a son of one house and daughter of the other fall in love, and are ultimately destroyed by their feuding families. Greenblatt points out in his intro to Romeo and Juliet, that Shakespeare is "dependent on coincidence, mischance, and accident to produce what the Chorus calls the lovers misadventured piteous overthrows".

The film is lovely. Gnomes are awesome by nature, and the film shows the life of actual lawn gnomes when people are not around.  I believe the term is anthropomorphism. The story begins to follow Shakespeare, setting up a feud that goes back so far that neither side knows why they fight. There is a balcony scene, and a duel scene which sees the end of Tybalt.

However, at the point in the story where the coincidence, mischance and accident ought to lead to tragedy, the character of Gnomeo meets the statue of Shakespeare. It is here that there is a discussion on fate versus free will. Gnomeo is able to save the day, nearly missing his tragic ending.

Most, I think, would blanch at the thought of a classic story changed for the sake of making money off of child movie-goers. But I think the message of a happy ending to a love story is just as important as one of dismal failure. After all, the feuding families have the same reaction in both situations. The red and blue gnomes realize their hatred is unfounded and jeopardized everything they loved, and the Montagues and Capulets realized that their hatred cost them the lives of their most cherished family members. Aside from the two lovers dying in each others arms, the story has a happy ending. Everyone decides to get along. A great sacrifice is given to end uncivil behavior in both stories. The gnome story, though, has shit blow up. Way cool!

In conclusion, definately worth a watch, especially for Shakespeare people. You can either watch in disgust as Shakespeare is put through the consumerist ringer, or enjoy an innocent kids movie that transcends human emotion, and time-bound beliefs while lifting up a principle of hope.

Adventure Gnomes!

Every so often a new animated television show arrives that destroys and reinvents what a cartoon can be. We saw it previously with Batman the Animated Series, Ren and Stimpy, The Simpsons, and South Park, among others. Adventure Time is another of those shows.

The show is a brilliant mash-up of the fantasy genre and silly '80s cartoon buffoonery. The episodes are 15 minutes, the animation is bright and simple, and the humor is cleverly juvenile. It follows the daily lives of Finn the Human, a 12 year old boy, and his best friend Jake, a dog with morphing super powers who somehow live together in a treehouse in the middle of the crazy fantasy world of Ooh.

Ooh is a world populated by a huge number of strange, mythic, ridiculous creatures including people created from sugar, philosophical wolves, frat boy Vikings, giants, wizards, space creatures, rainbow horses that speak Korean, a little elephant that bakes pies, and the most important things.... gnomes.

These gnomes are traditionally chthonic, living underground in a kingdom called the Beneathaverse. Ruled by a gnome king, these gnomes trick the heroes and kidnap Finn to power a machine that will flip the universe over, allowing Beneathaverse to be on top for once. The plot is foiled, obviously. But not after a kick-ass dance party in the clouds.

Gnomes: A Lesson in Chthonics

Its been a while since i have posted here. I kind of ran out of material. So, I figure, its about time to go back to the basics. Myth.


Apparently, the idea of the gnome has its origins in ancient mythos, most notably Greek, Gael, and Germanic folklore. I learned a new word today too, from the Greek chthonios, chthonic means under the earth. So... in a sentence, you would use it like this: "My dad just died and now he is chthonic". 

The British used the term Chthonic Gnome to differentiate between other gnome-like creatures such as brownies, elves, leprechauns, kobolds, goblins, gremlins, sprites, klabautermen, and garden gnomes. Basically, the original gnome was much more like the dwarves from Lord of the Rings.

Some other uses of the term gnome in literature are as follows:

Nathaniel Hawthorne in 1873 wrote about gnomes in Twice Told Tales where he differentiates the ugly, strong, earthy, manly gnomes from the pretty and fragile limpwristed fairies.

William Cullen Bryant wrote about gnomes in his book Little People of the Snow in 1877, and made it clear that gnomes are not elves (no kidding, Orlando Bloom would make an awful gnome). However, JRR Tolkien wrote of gnomes as the first people, the Noldor, a second clan of elves, who were clever craftsmen and shared their knowledge with man. So, maybe Bloom would make a good gnome.

In 1895, gnomes turned up as main characters in Franz Hartmann's Unter den Gnomen im Untersberg. They are portrayed exactly as one would describe a dwarf today. And by dwarf, I dont mean Little People, Big World on TLC. 

In the 19th century, gnomes pop up in fantasy books, most notably in L. Baum's Wizard of OZ, Lewis's The Chronicles of Narnia, and lastly Rowling's Harry Potter. 
I believe I had a rant about Rowling's portrayal previously

Also to be noted... the rise of the fantasy gaming culture has led to the use of gnomes in games such as Dungeons and Dragons, and Magic: The Gathering. Funny enough, there is a blog for that: Gnome Stew.

Way to Ruin a Reputation

Some people just dont understand satire. But im glad the German people do. because this is hilarious. Artist Ottmar Hoerl poses 3D models in provacative ways artistically. This particular installation uses facist gnomes. The only issue I have is somehow, gnomes have become synonymous with the easily manipulated and/or persuaded to hatred. But, I guess this isnt really that big of issue, since the image of the gnome is being used as a vehicle for good and not evil.

There are other worse protrayals of gnomes in society. A few examples are GnomeWatch, a watch dog group that has found a scapegoat for British domestic failures in gnomes and therefore spreads propaganda to discredit these gentle people (of course this is completely ridiculous), and this little site about gnome mutilation, totally sick, and very unfunny! and lastly... Harry Potter!

Thats right, Harry Potter, that lovable series of children's novels of a young wizard who defeats an unsurmountable evil masquerades as an innocent fantasy tale, but is really a 7 book anti-gnome rant. Gnomes are described as common garden pests that, much like grubs, or beetles, eat away at plants and root systems. These gnomes are also described as not very smart either, for when it is made obvious that someone is there to exterminate them, they "storm up to have a look" instead of staying in the ground, safe.

I guess it is better, then, to have gnomish representations symbolize and satirize an age of oppression, fear, ignorance, and brutality then be shown as idiotic pests, or public enemy number one. Check out more of Hoerl's installations and work at his website. 

Gremlins Never Shower

So, the topic this time is Gremlins. In case you don't know, or lived in a box during the '80s, Gremlins can be gnomish creatures bent on causing meyham. Actually, they probably have nothing to do with this blog at all, except I want to write about them, and its my blog.

A few things about gremlins:  contrary to popular contemporary beliefs, the gremlins depicted in the 1984 Joe Dante film arent exactly from the same gremlin mythos popularized during World War 2, from which the name entered the lexicon. To demonstrate, let me sum up the movie: kid recieves a strange looking pet with the instructions to not feed after midnight, or get wet.  

So of course, during the movie these rules are broken and the cute little furry gremlin-thing turns into an evil lizard that likes to smash stuff and light things on fire. The movie synopsis uses the word "hijinx" to describe the events of the movie. The phrase "disaster ensues" would be more appropriate.  I think it more accurately portrays the smashing and burning, raping and pillaging. The word hijinx would never be used in the summary for a viking, pirate, or gangster movie. Jason never committed hijinx on Friday the 13th.

The 1940s gremlin mythos is thus: The Murphy's law of "if something can go wrong, it will", or the acronym SNAFU (situation normal, all fucked up) is explained by these little creatures that hide in machines and break things. Sabotage by small unseen demons MUST be why shit goes wrong. There is no water involved, no caretaker regulations, no condemnation of midnight snacking. Its just ugly little, often invisible, monsters that sabotage technology for there own personal enjoyment of creating chaos.

The painting I've included above is from the Collier's magazine article "What every Pilot should Know" by Quentin Reynolds in 1942. Painted by Gustaf Tenngren, it shows gremlins riding a plane into ruin.

Roal Dahl (before his other cool-ass books like Witches, and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) wrote a book for Disney in 1943 called The Gremlins. Dahl created two genders of gremlins, the widgets and the fifinella. The fifinella would be used by WASP of the US airforce as a uniform patch.

Looney Tunes designed gremlins for two cartoon shorts. One is a cartoon showing gremlins taking down Hitler and his luftwaffe. The other is a gremlin battling Bugs Bunny (and of course, losing). When I was in high school, I used this character as a symbol on my hardhat when I did construction one summer.

The last cool portayal was in the cartoon the Real Ghostbusters. These gremlins retired from destroying aircraft, and moved to sabotaging automobiles at a plant in Detriot. It took me awhile, but I found a picture. This was a good show. No one makes cartoons like that anymore. It was well written, clever, production value was good. The show was not dumbed down for a younger audience, and still was appropriate enough to be shown on Saturday morning. It also didnt rely on support from a toy line.

Speaking of gremlins...  the AMC made a cheap car called the gremlin in the 70s.  Probably not a good plan to name your product after a mythic superstition known to make machinery malfunction.  From what I hear, the AMC Gremlin lived up to its namesake.  

My point today is...  the 80s ruined alot of things, Rock music almost didnt recover, hairstyles got stupid, but with regards to this post...  the films the Gremlins and Gremlins 2 damaged the perception of a cool old-school cultural symbol.  Goddammit '80s!

Missing Something?

So, the other day, I lost my wallet. It went missing, which is very embarrassing when you're in a situation where you think you have it, like say... after walking into a bar "knowing" you have proper identification, or after sitting through an entire meal at a restaurant ready with cash or a credit card to pay the bill but then you go to whip out your brown leather billfold and all you get is an empty pocket. It times like these that I freak out. Three possibilities could be the reason my wallet is missing...

1. someone picked my pocket

2. I left it in my other pants

3. Sock Gnomes

Now, I know what you're thinking, dont sock gnomes only take interest in socks, hence the name? While socks are the primary fetish for this type of gnome, they have also been known to take undergarments, car keys, cellphones, and even people (Jimmy Hoffa is still missing). So, it would not be a far stretch for sock gnomes to branch out and start theiving wallets.

The clever television show South Park made the sock gnome phenomenon famous with their episode on the underpants gnomes. Underpants apparently are funnier than socks. I beg to differ.

Check these out! Now that's comedy! Sock Creatures! Holy Moly! What

a hobby! I need to learn how to sew. Can you do that with underwear? Heck no. Well, wait... This is a little funny. But other than that, underwear is either sexy, or gross. Pantyraids are fun though (not that I've ever participated in anything like that... that would be irresponsible and childish).

In case you don't know what Sock Gnomes are, let me sum up: according to Dr. Grant McDonald, foremost expert in mythical stocking evanescence, defines Sock Gnomes thusly, "Sock gnomes are mythical creatures that pilfer socks. The loss of which only becomes apparent at the exact instant that one really really needs to find them." McDonald's close associates, Helen and Elizabeth go further to specify that sock gnomes try and take only left socks. This theory has not been proven to be true 100% of the time however. More research is required.

Over on the Arduous Blog, she contemplates the uses for "orphaned socks" left behind by these pilfering little kleptos. The list includes iPod case, quarters pouch, paper towels, sock puppets (see? it IS funny), and she mentions giving them to OneSmallStep. So, of course, I had to know what OneSmallStep was. Apparently it is a Christian Mission that collects "new and used" socks for the less fortunate. Good plan, except used socks are kind of gross. I would suggest donating a few bucks by buying a package of new socks. There is no punchline here, really, kids need to be wearing socks in any weather, but especially in winter.

Why do Sock Gnomes steal socks?

If no one wants used socks (ew), what do they do with a bunch of mismatched socks? I cant see any practical application for a stockpile of stolen socks, aside from some sort of collective weirdo sock fetish, there seems to be no good reason. Maybe they found a way to turn socks into energy, and therefore power their little gnome universe. Doc Brown found a way to power his time machine with garbage. Im sure little bearded men with pointy hats can turn mismatched socks into fuel. This energy plan has become problematic though, it turned their whole society into thieves, relying on human beings for their energy needs. Kind of like how the United States is dependent on the Middle East, Canada, and Argentina for their energy needs. Wow, I found a contemporary real life connection to current events. I'm amazing!

In closing, I did find my wallet, it was in my other pants.

David to the Rescue

I use a picture from Will Huygen's book as the cover for this blog.

In the mid 1980s BRB Internacional aquired the rights to Will Huygen's gnomes and produced David the Gnome, the most important (for obvious reasons) cartoon of its era. First produced for Spanish television in 1985. It ran for 26 episodes, Nickelodeon acquired the syndicated rights and ran the show on the new Nick Jr network in 1987. It also ran on ABC, TLC, Discovery Kids, and Milkshake!

The main characters are David (obviously), a super old (399) doctor gnome. He has a family, a twin brother named Paul, and a best friend who is also a fox named Swift. The plot of show revolves around the patients David treats, defending himself and others from trolls, gnomes natural enemies, and going on treasure hunting adventures.

After two seasons, David the Gnome was followed up with a sequel spinoff called the Wisdom of the Gnomes, and a movie called The Gnomes Great Adventure.