Santa the Oslo Dildo Gnome

 

He's big! He's red! He's phallic! Its the Oslo traffic gnome! 

This guy was commissioned and installed in 2018 in the center of a round-a-bout, as you can see in the pictures. He stands 20 feet tall, is made of red bronze, and has been nicknamed Santa... or alternately, Dildo Santa. 

Santa, built by LA based artist Paul McCarthy (not McCartNey, the Beatle), is supposed to represent the holiday season's commercial excess, being so large, holding a bell and a Christmas tree... except, that tree looks an awful like like a butt plug. 

I guess the commentary is Christmas commercialism is like being railed with a giant red dildo? Seems like a stretch... 

There is actually another one of these in Rotterdam. 

the rotterdaaaaamn gnome

Dark Gnomes ... Reverse Napping

I love stand-up comedy. I follow a variety of funny people, including Bert Kreischer, Michelle Wolf, Kate Micucci, Jimmy Cash, Saaniya, and Adam Conover. As a consequence, my social media feeds are loaded with suggested videos of stand-up bits from a variety of comedians. I stumbled into Shahak Shapira this way. This guy is pretty incredible.

Born in Israel, immigrated to Germany as a boy, one of Shapira's grandfathers survived the Holocaust, and the other was murdered during the infamous Munich Olympic Games. He has made a name for himself as an activist by challenging Twitter for being unwilling to take down racist and antisemitic tweets, and working with Die Parte to undermine Nazi Party social media groups. 

He also does stand-up, which I'm grateful for. In the clip above, he begins a bit about the Dark Web, but gets hijacked by an audience member. I am also grateful for this woman from Slovakia who shared with everyone the very real (probably) website called Get Gnomed. The site promises to "gnome" a target's house with garden gnomes for a fee. Tappy tap the image below for the Know Your Meme entry, complete with videos. 

AniGnomiacs

One of the greatest cartoons since the 40s was produced in the 1990s. Disney had a bit of a television animation renaissance in the late 80s and early 90s. They produced some great shows, including Duck Tales (woo hoo), Tailspin, and the Gargoyles. In response, Warner Brothers, through Nickelodeon, produced their own set of unique programming, including Ren and Stimpy, Doug, and Rugrats. 

In 1995, though, on their CW network, Warner Brothers' produced 

The Animaniacs. 

An animated shorts compilation, this show ran for 5 seasons, and combined classic Looney Tunes tropes and cartoon structure with modern humor, including orchestral accompaniment. This show is the greatest. Like classic cartoon shorts, this show was silly enough to cater to kids, but also clever enough to make adults laugh. It introduced the Warner Brothers and Warner Sister, Pinky and the Brain, and others. In 2020, Hulu co-produced a rebooted show.  

One of the new features on this rebooted show is a short called The Incredible Gnome in Peoples' Mouths. 

This is obviously the best part of the show by far, and certainly the greatest innovation in the reboot.

 

He's a gnome, who lives in peoples' mouths and jumps out to yell at others, giving them unfiltered opinions and truths. He is the inner monologue coming out to voice itself. The voice of reason. Jiminy Cricket, if he was an angry mensch. His first appearance is in Episode 9. 

DIY Decorations

 

DIY Christmas decorations can be pretty clever and fun, and put people in good spirits. And since we've all been sitting around doing nothing (if we follow good advice), there has been lots of free time to do arts and crafts. The Holland Sentinel from Holland, Michigan, reported about this nice lady who made gnomes out of tomato cages and boughs of evergreen trees for area assisted living residents. 

The story of this mitzvah is linked below, with better pictures. Happy Holidays, and Happy New Year!

Whats a Gnome to a Goblin?

Virtual Reality gaming is new and exciting, and still in its commercial infancy. However, there are production companies out there, working to bring better, affordable products to the masses.

Jon Favreau, the film director/writer/actor, not the political activist/speech writer, is currently dabbling in VR gaming in partnership with Wevr productions. His pet project is called Gnomes & Goblins. The interactive trailer was released in 2016.

It looks really good. The page from the production company gives information and testimonials on the creative process. I linked to it right here and on the picture above. It apparently hasn't been finished yet, and I could find no press releases or stories about why, or if it is still in production, or has been canceled. I will assume it has been in production for the last 3 years. Hopefully we can all see a finished product eventually.

Comrades in Gnomes

Apparently this isn't the only all encompassing gnome blog on the Internet. I'm not that shocked, the Internet is vast. Over on Word Press, there is a blog called The Drunk Gnome. Head on over there to check out posts largely about gnome collecting, gnome festivals/gatherings, and a lot of weirdness.

Reserving the World Record

England seems to have a thing for gnomes like no other place. In West Putford, there is a 4 acre park called the Gnome Reserve dedicated to gnomish adventure! Their website proudly welcomes everyone to "enjoy a magical day out for the whole family". They have seamlessly woven over 2000 garden gnomes with 250 species of flowers and native plants. 

Created in 1979 by Ann Atkin. Her art inspired a vision of a gnome paradise. The collection of 2000+ gnomes is a Guinness World Record. This privately owned park integrates outdoor past times like hiking and fishing into gnome tom-foolery. They give out gnome hats at the door so "the gnomes think you are one of them". Their website is linked here, and also on that picture above. Pictures below....

Gnomes: Two Weeks at a Time

Gnomes pop up all over the place, hence this blog. Sometimes they show up in weird places, like video games. I posted before about World of Warcraft, and Fable. And now, this game.

Fortnite was released in 2017 by Epic and quickly captured the hearts and minds and all the spare time for everyone under 21. It's basically a first person shooter game, much like Call of Duty, Battlefront, Overwatch, and many others. Fortnite added the ability to build defenses, and has  seemingly endless personalization/customization skins.

Why do I care? Normally, I don't. I'm not really into online shooters like the ones mentioned above. I'm not into playing with others. Except Mario Kart, and FIFA. But... I discovered today that this game has gnomes!

Apparently the Battle Royale mode includes treasure hunts, daily challenges that hide objects all over the landscape. Sometimes they make you search for gnomes! This, of course, is very much like the quest in Fable III. They even laugh when you get too close.... so, actually very much like Fable III.

In addition to these scavenger hunts, Fortnite has also included a skin (of course) that allows players to dress like gnomes, while they muck about, shooting zombies and each other, or whatever it is you do in this game. Grimble is his name... and he looks terrifying.

it's not unsettling... not at all

Virtual Reality Gnomes

Apparently Gnome isn't the only thing in the tech world named after the best mythological creature ever. The Head Gnome, as his email says, is David Wyand, founder of Gnometech, a company that specializes in gaming hardware and game development. He also wrote a textbook on Torque 3D game development for Garage Games.

Apparently they've developed a few apps for VR including a paint app, Circumpaint, a hockey game, and a turtle simulator. Gnome and Gnometech may share more than just a namesake. Torque 3D, and Gnome are both open source programs. This would lead me to believe that Gnometech programs are possibly also open source. Not confirmed, as this doesn't appear on the Gnometech site, but I wouldnt be shocked.

Rag & Gnome

In a round about sort of way, I found this gif today. It features Emma Roberts, niece of Julia Roberts, known for her work with Jason Sudeikis and Jennifer Aniston in Meet the Millers, and on the Scream Queens, and American Horror Story television shows.

She obviously gnome-naps.

This is from a film short, Time of Day, which also stars Jon Hamm, and Kate Mara; featuring music by Thom Yorke. It is produced by the clothing company Rag & Bone from New York. Apparently they use these short films as ads? They're directed by a variety of people, some professional, some amateur. Some make more sense than this one.

But this one is clearly the best.... because gnomes!

Watson! A Sequel is Afoot!

Our favorite characters from the best gnome movie ever made returned in March with a second film!

That's right, Gnomeo and Juliet meet the Greatest Gnome Detective!

In case you forgot, or want a refresher, the first movie is on this blog too. 

The plot, basically, is a gnome-napping case. The world building from the original is expanded to include other knick knacks, toys, and statues like maneki-nekos, dolls, teddy bears, and gargoyles. There are puns and references to classic Sherlock Holmes and gnomes, or course. Apparently it's also a musical, with Elton John highly represented.

The beginning of the movie throws out some great ideas for a bunch of sequels, including Games of Gnomes, the Gnome Ranger, Spiderman: Gnome Coming, Indiana Gnomes.... I want to see them all!

Movie Time: Wet Bandits Not Included

This is a new film on the Netflix. Gnome Alone is a standard "kid saves world from supernatural doom" plot enhanced, obviously, by adding gnomes. Not really sure why garden gnomes are the only line of defense against a reality eating clonal colony from another dimension, but I'm not complaining.

This film has everything. Female protagonist? Check. Estranged parent/child relationship? Check. School-age stereotypes? Check. Cute little monsters from another dimension? Check. Gnome Warriors? Check. Pink Hair Dont Care? Check. Message about how cell phones and social media are a huge distraction and reality is way better? Double Check.

Despite the obvious pun, this film has nothing to do with Macaulay Culkin, Christmas, or protecting the home from burglary. Not an amazing film, but still pretty enjoyable and fun, if not predictable. It does have some interesting ideas about extra dimensions, and how alien life can be portrayed. But it is a kids' film, and so these things are not fully explored beyond what the plot needs. 

Gnitting Gnomes Love You Too

via GIPHY

On Giphy, user Mochimochiland makes stop motion GIFs. They are handcrafted, knitted gnomes and other silly things. Check out some of my favorites. 

via GIPHY

via GIPHY

Well, I like Gnomes Fighting Giants, but I Wouldnt Say I Love it

Recently, Netflix produced and released a new show from Matt Groening, the creator of Life in Hell, The Simpsons, and Futurama. Disenchantment is pretty good, as animated series go. It is not as good as Groening's past creations, but I remind myself that it is only Season 1, and there are plenty of brilliant scenes that show the potential greatness.

Set in a medieval fantasy universe, Disenchantment follows a princess protagonist who hates being a princess protagonist and would rather drink, fight, and goof off. There is a demon personification of her Id, and a goofball, milquetoast elf to round out the main characters. The world seems to be full of crazy, silly, sometimes dark versions of all the fantasy tropes, from overbearing kings and over enthusiastic knights, sick and depressed serfs, to monsters and fantasy beasts of all kinds.

During the first episode, we are treated to a terrific scene while the elf character is traveling through the kingdom for the first time. He comes across a battle between giants and the best creatures in the world!

Just in case my imbedded video fails, the link is here to the youtubes. Sorry about the captions.

Apparently, ewoks aren't the only undersized species to punch above their weight. 

Hurl that Gnome!

 

At this point, everyone is familiar with the Google Logo. Every so often, the logo changes to celebrate a holiday or anniversary or something special. They call it a Google Doodle. Today's Google Doodle is probably the best Google Doodle EVER!

June 10 isn't Gnome Day, or the day the first gnome was made or whatever. But this week is National Garden Appreciation Week (10-16), and I suppose Garden Gnomes fit into the theme.

The Doodle is a game. You get to catapult gnomes great distances, and as the fly, they spread seeds that sprout flowers! It's rad. Click the pic above to link to the game!

Hide and Seek: Oswego Edition

The Lake Oswego region in Oregon has a park service that has a good idea for encouraging outdoor exploration. 

Three gnomes Oak, Greenie and Blossom are hidden throughout the region's 45 acres of recreational facilities. What started out as a simple scavenger hunt to boost attendance seems to be turning into a local mascot brand. The article from Lake Oswego paper is in the picture of the icons below. 

Comics Time: Humon Edition

I love internet comics. You may recognize this cartoonist, Humon, from her personifications of countries that appear in Scandinavia and the World, which is hilarious and highly recommended. She does do other things from time to time, including an entire book illustrating the different sexualities found in nature called Animal Lives. The Humon Comics homepage is linked to the badge up top. Below I've included her best illustration ever, clearly, from a series on mythology and folklore in her native Scandinavia.

Gnome Collector

Parks and Recreation

Today on Gnomes in the Gnews, more gnome home hijinks! As reported in Newsday from Long Island, a community in Nassau is all about gnome homes in their park. 

Apparently in Millpond Park in Wantaug, people enjoy little homes created in the park along some of the trails. Unlike some other parks I've written about, this park embraces the phenomenon/hobby. The Newsday logo above links to the story.

The story can also be found in the Long Island Press. 

Gnomes in Spaaaaaaace

Over at Think Geek, you can order Star Trek themed gnomes!

ThinkGeek is an online store that specializes in nerdy, sciency, fandom, geeky apparel, accessories and toys marketed not just at children, but at the growing adult nerd market.

They just released their second set of Next Generation gnomes. You can find them here. Obviously, below I posted pictures of the best Star Trek themed merchandise of all time!

Best Tweet Ever!

From writer Andrew Chamings's twitter machine... he's actually pretty clever. Follow, if you do that sort of thing.